


Nothing is Perfect

by SenoraSiete



Category: Metallica
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Eventual Smut, Falling In Love, First Kiss, Love Confessions, M/M, Nervousness, Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-27
Updated: 2018-11-08
Packaged: 2019-08-08 10:49:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16427939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SenoraSiete/pseuds/SenoraSiete
Summary: Kirk is new to Metallica.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my second story I've ever written so I'm sorry if it's not great. This first chapter doesn't have any kind of adult content yet but I promise it'll be coming soon. Please feel free to comments on how you like and even if you don't tell me why constructive comments are always helpful! Hope you enjoy this chapter and the next will be out as soon as possible! Thank you :)

I knocked on the door holding a small duffel in the other hand that had literally everything I owned in it which clearly isn’t much.

Up until this point I’d been living in a small apartment with 2 rooms and about 5 guys. I used to be in this band call Exodus it was actually only about a before this week that I was still playing with them. I had become pretty good friends with the guys from Metallica since they had played with Exodus a couple times before. I had recently had some doubts about where our band was going and the direction I wanted to go with our music was not the same as everyone else’s so when I heard the Metallica had kicked Dave out (which honestly didn’t surprise me because that guy was always getting in fights even trying beat up his own band members from what I had heard) I thought that this could be a great opportunity. I had met up with them well I guess try out would be the right word to use and they called me about 2 days later saying I was in.

After having to have an almost heartbreaking talk with the guys from Exodus explaining how I was leaving the band I told them that I’d move out as soon as possible. The guys from Metallica had a their own house and everything because if I am being honest they were a lot better and more popular then Exodus. They told me that I was welcome to move in with them and I took the offer.

So now there was waiting outside their door for one of them to open it. I wasn’t nervous about living with the Metallica guys up until this very moment. The idea of them possibly not liking me or my playing style or the fans not liking me was completely taking over my brain and I was starting to feel kinda sick. I took a deep breath in and right as I did the door opened. I look up and I was met with with sky blue eyes. It was James the lead singer of the band. 

“Hey Kirk! It’s nice to finally see you again especially since you’re now officially part of the band. Come on inside!” James smiled and gestured for me to come inside. 

“Hey thanks man! I’m really excited to be here!” I smiled back at James and all the worries I was having kinda just faded away. 

When I walked in I was greeted with the smell of beer and weed. The house was a mess but really I was pretty used to since I had just moved out of an apartment that I was sharing with 5 other dudes. I can hear the TV and what sounds like who assume to be Cliff playing his base.

“Sorry the place is kind of a mess.” James chuckled as he said it and walked over to the right here there was a kitchen/dining room area.

“No worries man. This place isn’t even half as bad as the place I was staying at.” I said with a smile.

James walked to the fridge that had what appeared to be nothing but beer in it which made me laugh a little. James looked up at me with a faint smile.

“What’s so funny?”

“Well I can tell you guys cook a lot” I said with a sarcastic smile that matched my tone. 

“Well then smartass do you want a beer?” he said with a light chuckle.

“Sure man thanks!”

“Ok now that your done judging our kitchen and our cooking habits lemme show around the place and introduce? I don’t know if it’s really introducing if you already know them but whatever introduce you to the 2 dipshits.” 

I already felt comfortable around James within the first 5 minutes of being in the house.

I followed James into the front room which was dark and had an ugly old red couch and also had Lars in it. His eyes were glued to the TV which had some tennis game on, he seemed completely infatuated by. He must have heard us walk in and turned around darting up and walked over to me.

He wrapped his arms around me in almost bear hug like way but since he was smaller than me it wasn’t really a bear hug.

“Kirk! It's awesome to have you here man! I think your such an amazing guitarist and from what I’ve seen you look fucking perfect on stage.”

“Uhh thanks Lars it’s nice to see you too.”

Lars let go of me sat back down and I was lead to the Cliff was. Of course Cliff was stoned but was still able to properly greet me. 

“Sup man it’s nice to see you” Cliff said with a lazy smile on his face. 

“Hey Cliff how ya been man?” 

We talked for a little but James was itching to show me the rest of the house so our conversation was cut short. We walked into the other bedroom and in there I saw two beds. 

“Ok Kirk so this is mine and your room since we only have 2 room were gonna have to share.”

“Oh ok sounds good man” I smiled at James but I remember think ‘I don’t remember them saying I had to share a room’. But of course I didn’t mind because these dudes just let me move in for free so really I had nothing to complain about. 

I put my duffel bag on the bed and walked out of the room. I went out into the kitchen where now Cliff and Lars were. They handed me another beer and James joined us soon after. We all talked and laughed. It felt so natural for all of use and I really felt like I was part of a family. Things seemed to be going perfect.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kirk's first show.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this part is also lacking some sexual content sorry everyone but I do promise that it'll be here soon. Sorry if these 2 chapters seem to be kinda slow but I promise the story in going to pick up. I hope everyone enjoys this chapter and please leave a review telling me what you do and don't like all feed back is appreciated! Thank you and enjoy! :)

I got used to the house pretty fast and by the second day I had completely emptied my duffel bag which really only had five shirts, a pair of black jeans, couple pair of sock and underwear, and a couple of comic books. Nonetheless it was still a big deal to me because that meant I was officially part of well Metallica. 

Within about a week I also was able to learn a little more about they guys and the dynamics of the band. I quickly figured out that James was a big tough guy or at least that what he wanted people to think but he was actually a softy who would give his own shirt off his back to help any one of us. But I was also warned by the other guys to not make him mad they told me that even though he was a genuinely kind and caring guy he was scary when he was mad. Lars on the other hand was really intense and seemed to go from 0 to 100 really fast which I could see being a bad thing but from what I saw it was usually about stuff that he was passionate about like drums, tennis, and well porn. Yes porn. I also found out pretty fast that Lars was a huge perv and really did love himself some porn. And of course there was Cliff which at first glance was just a stoner with long hair which was true but Cliff was also extremely smart and seemed to know something about everything. Cliff was like a wise and neutral being that anyone could talk to. It really seemed like there was a bit of everything in this band.

I had a week to get used to the whole band and house situation and now it was finally time for my first show with the guys. I was so nervous and I felt a little weird about the fact that I’d be playing stuff that Dave had come up with. But of course I couldn’t have sit down with the band and been like ‘oh hey so I don’t wanna play Dave's stuff soooooo let's all work really hard and come up with some new music right now’ that probably would have either gotten some good laughs or gotten me kicked out of the band. 

So it was about an hour before we had to go on stage and I was sweating bullets. I honestly felt like I was going to throw up all over backstage. I hadn’t been this nervous ever. With Exodus was never really nervous because I had help write all of the songs and knew all of the guys and how they played so it was nothing but pure excitement every time I played. This was different though, I was playing with a band I had never officially played with before and was playing songs that though I knew pretty well I hadn’t mastered. ‘What if I mess up or the fans don’t like me or the guys think I’m not as good as Dave oh god I can’t this’ My head was spinning and those were the only things I could think about.

James walked into the small room that I had gone into so that I could at least try to calm down.

“Hey Kirk we got about 50 minutes before we gotta go on. You wanna rehearse a little?”

Once he was completely inside he looked over to the couch I was sitting on. Before I could even answer the happy and relaxed look on his face faded into one of concern and he walked towards me.

“Woah dude are you ok? You look like hell man!”

“Nah James I’m fine don’t worry.” I said with a nervous laugh. I knew James is a really sweet guy and I highly doubted that he would have made fun of me I didn’t want to risk it at all. It was only my first show I mean if I couldn’t do this one then what would they do. They would have a completely useless lead guitarist and I’d get kicked out which was the last thing I wanted to happen. 

“Kirk I know you’re lying to me you literally look like your about to pass out, through up, or cry or all of the above.” James said this as he quickly sat down next to me.

“C’mon Kirk tell me what’s going on. I’m not gonna say anything to the other guys or make fun of you if that’s what you worried about.” James started rubbing my back and moving closer to me was really comforting and I remember thinking ‘I’ve really never felt so safe around another guy before’

I had let out a shaky breath before I put my head in my hands and started talking. “I can’t do this James. I seriously can’t. I mean what if the fans don’t like me or you guys realize that I’m not as good as Dave or-”

“Kirk are you serious? If we didn’t think you were good enough for this band then we would have never picked you! You’re seriously one of the best guitarist out there and out of all the dudes that asked to get in we picked you because you’re fucking amazing man!” 

“But what if I mess up or forget the songs?”

“Kirk look at me”

I lifted my head and I’m met with James’ deep and tender blue eyes. 

“Kirk you can do this. I know that you can. You know all the songs and you know exactly how our set list is going I promise you we won’t switch anything up on you especially on your first night.” His voice was reassuring and caring. 

“Ok” I took a deep breath “Ok James I got this I can do this” I said very unconvincingly.

“Yeah man you got this in the bag don’t even think about it your gonna do great! And after the show were gonna take out to this club that next door to celebrate!” James said this with such excitement and enjoyment is his voice while he started to rub even lower on my back which now made my stomach feel warm and almost tingly. 

As I looked at James who was sitting so close that our faces weren’t even a foot away from each other I started to notice how strong his jawline was and how his golden wavy hair laid over his shoulders and how broad and muscular his shoulders and arms were. I really was just able to notice how handsome and striking the man next to me was. ‘What the hell am I thinking I’m not gay that’s impossible no way I’m gay! It’s probably because I’m so nervous and stressed my brain isn’t working right. Yeah that’s it it has to be it’ was all that I kept thinking while James and I sat on the couch for another minute or two so I could try to composed myself. 

“Let's get out there and practice the show starts in like 45 minutes”

“Ok man sounds good let's do this.” I tried to say that with as much confidence as I could muster so James was less worried about me. 

James stood up and put his hand out for me to take so he could help me stand up. As I took it I could feel how calloused and strong his hand felt. We walked out of the room and into the small practice area where Cliff and Lars were sitting talking about some music theory stuff that Cliff clearly seemed to know more about. Lars looked up at us.

“Oh you so two are finally done making out and ready to start practicing!”

Cliff laughed at Lars’ comment “Lars leave the boys alone Kirk is already nervous you don’t need to freak or anything.” Cliff said with a lazy but playful tone.

James was blushing a bright shade of red and refused to even turn his head in my direction as he walked to get his guitar out of its case. “Thanks Cliff now let’s just practice already we only have like 20 minutes before we have to get changed and ready and all that shit” James said while giving a dirty look at Lars. 

Lars let out a loud chuckle and rolled his eyes. 

I laughed awkwardly. I felt like there was something else going on but I really wasn't sure yet and I was gonna have to figure that out later because at that very moment I just had to focus and make sure I didn’t fuck up this show.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James is mad and Kirk isn't sure why yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope everyone likes this chapter. I'm going to try and have the next part out pretty soon. The story is starting to pick up but still no adult content sorry for everyone who's waiting for that I promise it'll be here either in the next chapter or the after that. All comments at seriously appreciated even if there criticisms tell how you guys like and what I can do better. Thanks for reading :)

We had gotten on the stage and I saw an audience bigger than any I had ever seen. I mean don’t get me wrong with Exodus I had seen my fair share of big groups or so I had thought but this was double what I had ever seen. 

When I walked out on stage with the other guys James walked up to the mic.

“My friends we’d like to introduce you to our newest member MR. KIRK FUCKING HAMMETT!” 

The crowd went crazy and James turned his head, smiled, and gave a quick wink. Now having seen the crowd's reaction I felt more much more confident about my skill but I remember my heart started pounding again after James had winked at me. My stomach stopped feeling so sick because of my nerves and began to feel another kind of sick that at the time I couldn’t put my finger on. 

The show had gone almost perfect except for Lars played too fast during Metal Militia so I had to completely readjust my everything but I dealt with it. I had looked over at James during the song and when he wasn’t singing he was giving Lars the dirties look I had ever seen. The show ended and we headed back stage where James pushed Lars.

“Hey dick head I know you did that on purpose that wasn’t fucking cool.” James said this all through gritted teeth. 

“I don’t know what your even talking about James.” Lars had said this all with a grin on his face.

“You played to fast during Militia and I know you did it to fuck with Kirk! It’s first night and you knew he was nervous so why the hell would you do that?”

“Well I guess I just might have made a mistake oops! Sorry I didn’t mean to mess with your little crush over there lover boy.” Lars said while he was laughing. 

I might have forgotten to add this but both James and Lars were already pretty hammered since during the show they both were able to polish off about 6 beers a piece and before they had even gotten on the stage they had at least one or two beers. At this point I knew exactly what kind of drunks they were. Lars was cocky and kind of childish with his jokes and overall mannerisms while James was extremely emotional. Not in the sense that he cried all the time but more like whatever emotion he was feeling at the time no matter if he was trying to hide it everyone knew. At that very point in time James was unmistakably mad and Lars was poking fun at him. 

“You shut your fucking mouth you prick or I’ll shut it for you! And leave Kirk alone you understand me?”

“Oh of course James I’m so sorry! I don’t want scare off your little boy toy so soon with my drumming!” Lars said sarcastically. 

James pushed Lars into the was so hard that the noise had made everyone in the room turn around and stormed off fuming and looking almost embarrassed. Lars was just laughing as he got up off floor that he had slid to after James had pushed him. 

Cliff stayed for a second to check if Lars was ok. Cliff and I had both been rendered pretty much useless while watching them fight because we were both just so surprised we had no idea what to do. Cliff could see the concern in my eye because at the time I thought that I had just broken up the whole band and it was literally my first show with the guys. Cliff turned to me and put his arm around my shoulders. 

“Kirk I’m so sorry you have to deal with this on your first gig but I need to go make sure that James doesn’t hulk out kill someone out on the street walking by. Just can you stay with Lars and make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid? I’ll be back in a few minutes.” Cliff said with a small laugh because really he didn’t know what else to do. 

“It really wasn’t that big of a deal. I mean the whole drum thing I was able to deal with it and I think I still sounded fine. I really don’t know why James got so mad.” I knew my voice was a bit shaky because I literally thought that I had just ruined everything.

“Kirk don’t worry about it none of this is your fault. Just watch Lars and I’ll be back as soon as possible.”

Cliff half ran out to go find James and I grabbed Lars’ arm and took him to go sit on the couch in the corner of the main room backstage.

“Lars lets just hang out here for a little and wait for Cliff.”

“Whatever you say Kirky. Hey can I get another beer?”

I really didn’t think it was a good idea to give him another one but really it was probably the only thing that would have kept him from roaming around and causing more trouble so quickly grabbed one for me and him. We sat in silence for a good 5 minutes while I thought about the fact that my whole Metallica career could have just began and ended in one day.

“Hey Kirk i’m sorry for playing too fast. I was being a dick on purpose and I know it wasn’t cool.”

“Man it wasn’t even that big of deal Lars don’t even worry about it. I was able to deal with it and honestly it helped me keep on my feet. I just don’t know why James got so mad.”

“Kirk it’s pretty clear that he-” Lars had gotten cut off before he could finish what he was telling me by Cliff who came back.

“Oh hey Cliff you finally came back. Well me and Kirky here just finished working out our business. Where’s the little bundle of joy?”

“Wait Lars what were you saying before Cliff came in?” I really wanted to know what Lars was going to say but he had clearly either forgot or pretended to forget.

“Uhhhhh Kirk I forgot” He laughed “anyways Cliff where did James go?”

“James said he was gonna walk over to the bar a couple buildings down he said that we’re ALL welcome to go over and join him. Lars that means that he isn’t mad at you to the point that he’ll smash your face in so keep your smart ass comments to yourself and maybe we can all just have a good time.”

“Ok fine fine I won’t say anything to the big guy. I’m just gonna go find a groupie to claim and head to the bar. Kirk wanna come I bet the girls are gonna wanna see the new guy.”

“Nah I’ll pass thanks Lars.” I didn’t know why at the time but at that very moment to me it didn’t feel right to just go out there and pick some chick. When I was with Exodus though this is gonna sound awful it was something we did every night we had a show. Each of us would go look through the crowd during the show and kinda pick which one we wanted but that night something just kinda felt wrong like I was betraying someone. I didn’t know who or why but it just did. 

“Suit yourself. I’ll see ya guys there.” Lars walked away.

“Hey Cliff how’s James actually doing?” I was really concerned that maybe it was something I had done.

“He’s fine. He calmed down pretty fast.”

“Good I was really worried. I’ve never seen him mad before and it was honestly pretty scary.”

“Yeah James doesn’t get like that often but when he does he’s at least really easy to calm down.”

“So why did he get so mad?”

Cliff kinda looked away from me and rubbed the back of his head with his hand. 

“Umm I’m uh not sure.” It was clear that Cliff was lying. I could completely tell. This made me kinda wonder what he was hiding.

“Hmm well ok. I hope it’s nothing I did. Anyways do you wanna head over to the bar?”

“Oh yeah man lets go lemme just grab my jacket.”

We left and started walking over to the bar that was about 10 minutes away. It was quiet but it didn't feel weird. Cliff didn’t force any conversation and this gave me time to think. I suddenly remembered what Lars had said before the show and how James reacted. Then I started thinking about how Lars was referring to me after the show. Then two things struck me either James is extremely homophobic and the fact that Lars was calling me his boyfriend really pissed him off or maybe ... maybe James did like me. My heart started pounding and my mind started to race with the ideas of what I would do if James did like me. Is he gay? Do I even like him? Am I gay? Millions of thoughts started to flood through my head and I didn’t even know which one of these ideas if any were true. Then my train of thought was derailed when Cliff broke the silence. 

“We finally made it!” He had said it like an explorer discovering so kind of lost treasure of something that he had been looking for years. 

“Wow it’s truly majestic” I chuckled and Cliff smiled at me. 

“Come on let's go get a drink I think out of everyone we deserve it.”

“Alright man” 

My stomach started feel uneasy again just thinking about the slight possibility that James might like me. I felt like I needed to figure out was happening and I was pretty admit about finding out that night. After about 4 drinks and a shot it was time to figure this out.


End file.
